Learning to deal with grief involves many aspects. It’s comparable to peeling the layers of an onion. There are many levels to this grief journey. First, you experience the 5 Stages of Grief and then try and adapt to finding a new normal within the space in your home. All the while you are dealing with the physical and emotional roller coaster of emotions. Just when you think you have cried all the tears you could, something triggers your emotions and tugs at your heartstrings, and you start bawling again. I have news for you. You are not weird. Crying is a healthy part of grieving.
Why People Cry
Crying is a healthy expression of emotion. Everyone expresses their emotions differently however there are generalities that most of us can agree on.
For instance, when there is a joyous occasion like a graduation or wedding celebration, we may cry tears of joy. When some people get irate or angry, they resort to crying or worse. Lastly, when a pet or loved one dies, most of us cry tears of sadness and hurt.
The pain can be so unbearable to hold internally, the expression of this emotion comes out in the form of tears from our eyeballs.
Whatever the reason, emotionally healthy people do feel the need to cry occasionally, and that’s okay.
Don’t hold back
If you’ve ever experienced feeling like you want to cry yet hold in your tears, you know how uncomfortable it can be. It practically makes you feel physically ill to withhold crying even though your body is sending signals that it’s time to cry.
Despite what many people think when a person cries, it tends to last for just a few short minutes. Granted you may have several series of these episodes during a day or week, but it’s not ongoing. Once the initial troubling feelings are expressed, they’re released, and you feel better.
The act of crying has a calming effect on the body as one’s breathing often slows down. After shedding tears, you’re then able to move forward with your day.
Crying and the Grief Process
It’s natural to experience sad and lonely feelings related to a loss of a beloved family member or friend. During grieving, you may find yourself crying periodically throughout the day over a few days, weeks, or months. Between crying episodes, you might feel fine. However, the grief eventually returns. And this is normal.
Grief has a way of washing over you in waves. But then, minutes later, you’re feeling better. When grieving, sometimes a good cry is all you need to release troubling emotions for the moment.
Over time, you’ll feel less and less like crying.
Crying is a part of life
Understand that crying is a normal part of life that will happen occasionally for various reasons. Let go of your fears or stigma regarding crying.
Take heed if you or someone you know is crying almost daily for several hours each day and not feeling any better after a “good cry.” It may be a sign to check with your doctor to ensure you address any potential conditions or issues like depression that may require professional attention.
Go ahead and let yourself cry if you feel like it. The grief process is a journey much like a marathon. You’ll have good days and bad days. After a good cry, you’ll feel calmer afterward and be ready to confront your day with renewed passion and motivation.
Take it one day at a time. You are human. You are not alone.
Share your thoughts
How do you express your emotions in times of happiness or grief? Do you cry? Do you attempt to hold in your emotions? How did your expression of sadness make you feel afterward? Leave a comment below.
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16 Comments
Cathy Armato
Crying is something I’ve been doing a ton of, pretty much every day since losing my beloved dog Phoebe. Thanks for sharing this, I was wondering if it’s normal to cry so much.
Admin
Cathy,
I totally understand and yes, you are not crazy for crying a lot. I’ve been there! The tears will lessen with time. No rush. Everyone grieves on their own timetable.
Robin
I am definitely a crier. My Cinco kitty has been gone for almost 6 years and I find myself crying when something hits me just right. Sometimes it is very brief, sometimes it feel like it lasts all day. I know that right around the anniversary of his passing (April 28), I always feel it really hard. Every once in a while, you have to give yourself permission to let it all out.
Admin
Robin,
Well said! I can relate to the same with my angel cat Dusty. Thank you for sharing your experience too.
Beth
Grieving is a complicated process that never really ends. My mom still cries (occasionally) about a puppy who died nearly 50 years ago. Crying itself can be exhausting, but it is helpful.
Admin
Beth,
So true! We actually learn to just live with grief as it’s never really “over”. I couldn’t say it any better. It’s good to have that release as needed. Thanks for sharing your insight with your Mom.
Michelle & The Paw Pack
Oh I’m totally a crier. My beloved dogs are still here with me, but sometimes thinking about losing them, or reading something sad online about dogs, will totally get the tears flowing. I already know I’m going to be a total mess when I lose them, but the love they bring to my life is so, so worth it. They cause a lot of happy tears too! 🙂
Admin
Michelle,
I can relate to what you said so much. And I couldn’t agree more! Sharing our lives and love with them…it’s so worth it! Thanks so much for sharing your point of view.
Marjorie at Dash Kitten
I cry. I have cried often since Dash was killed it hits me sometimes, and when we lose others. How people can’t cry baffles me. Yes, its tiring yes it takes it out of you but ultimately it helps you heal.
Admin
Marjorie,
Well said! I agree.
Terri
Someone pointed out to me many years ago, when I didn’t understand why I was crying during meditation after my heart horse died, that crying is healing. That is very true! You did an excellent job on this article. Crying is part of the grief and healing process. However, just don’t want to let it completely consume you. That’s when you need to seek help. Really superb job in explaining this process.
Admin
Terri,
Thank you so much for the kind words. I’m glad this resonated with you too. I hope my content helps others on their grief journey too. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Ruth Epstein
I cried a lot when Baby passed but it took me months to cry after the passing of my father and I was very close to him, My mom said at the time when your body is ready is when you will cry, everyone deals with death in a different way. This is something that has stuck in my brain and helped me overcome so much in my life. Great post
Admin
Ruth,
Thank you. You’re Mom gave you great advice. Everyone deals with death and grief differently. And when the time is right to release and cry, it will happen organically. Thanks for sharing your insight!
jana rade
Well, when Jasmine passed I howled like a wolf–almost literally. And then cried every time we’d be doing something together. For a couple of months, my husband had to take our other dog for walks because walks were Jasmine’s thing and I couldn’t stand them without her.
Admin
Jana,
I feel for you! After a pet passes away, attempting to adjust to a “new normal” is awful. I’m sure you felt the same when Jasmine passed away. Nothing seems to make sense or feel right. I’m glad your husband was there to help you in your time of grief. I appreciate you sharing your insight!