How’s it going?
Sometimes you have a bad day. Or in this case a few bad days. Truth be told I’m having one of those days. Ho hum, I feel glum. Have you ever experienced something awful only to move past it and then you hear a song that reminds you of that bad experience? This is my reality today.
2017 has been the start of a brand new year and I have been optimistic but currently I have a mix of emotions. January 10th marked Dusty’s second anniversary of her passing and she’s been on my mind. (Really and truly she and Precious are always on my mind either consciously or subconsciously.) I can listen to a song or just watch a movie and the melody of a song will take my memories back to when I lost Dusty.
Haven’t You Moved On?
You may be wondering…”Really? It’s been 2 years. Aren’t you over it?” Yes it’s been two years but no I’m not “Over it”. I am not lying when I say the pain from grief doesn’t quit or you don’t forget, because you don’t. The reality is when you experience grief, you have moments like today where something will trigger memories of those last moments with your pet. It’s not pleasant and mentally it is hard not to erase from my mind. Because those thoughts of her last moments at the vet play vividly in my mind it also brings about those emotions and tears. The mind-body connection is a real thing. Such a traumatic event in my life brought about not only emotional tears but physically impact on my body.
Mind & Body Connection
Recalling these memories made me sad, fatigued and moody. I think the stress of it gave me a kink in my neck too. Also, not to mention this shift in emotions triggers my hunger. Perhaps that is what they call emotional eating. Luckily for me, I’ve been good about eating decent, except for the occasional chocolate treats I sneak in. Admittedly though I haven’t been good about my exercise. I told you I’m being honest. This is my imperfect life after all. I could try to sell you perfection but that’s not what I’m about. This is one area I definitely need to actively work on and improve.
This is my Impurrfectlife. I’m just a regular gal who is navigating through this journey called life after pet loss. I struggle with the ups and downs of the emotions one experiences after such an event. I just had to vent and share my experience in hopes that someone else reading this understands they are not alone and I can relate. There is validation in sharing experiences with another person. To have your feelings validated means a lot and it helps with the healing process. I miss my furry friend so much and wish I could hug my furrball Dusty one last time. I wish I could hear her meow and purring next to me at the crack of dawn as she waits for me to feed her breakfast. But that is not to be. That is no longer my reality.
For now my memories will have to suffice. I will have a good cry for now and pull myself together and intentionally think of positive healthy memories of Dusty in better times. I choose to make a conscious effort to think of funny happy moments to occupy my mind. After all, harping on those last moments does not serve any positive purpose but opening up old wounds. It is a struggle from time to time, however I know with time and practice I can train myself to focus my energy where it needs to be. And that means stay inspired, encouraged and faithful in that which is positive.
Only the strong persevere. If there is anything both my cats have taught me it is the meaning of strength and love. Essentially, we can get knocked down and feel down and out but always find the strength within to get back up. We are never truly defeated unless we stay down for the count. And I for one know this fat lady has not sung yet!
Let me know. Can you relate? Comment and share below.