A special guest post by CPC Cares – ‘Provider of Pet Cremation Services for bereaved pet owners with sensitivity and respect’.
Do pets grieve?
Losing a pet is one of the most difficult parts of being a pet parent; but have you ever thought about what it’s like for the remaining pet after losing a buddy? Yes, our pets do grieve, and they experience a lot of the same emotions as we do.
Here is what to look out for in your remaining pet.
Signs your pet is grieving
In a multi-pet household, there is normally a structure or a pack hierarchy, so when one of them passes away, their behavior can change drastically. Dogs and cats have defined the social hierarchy of leaders and followers. So when the hierarchy is disrupted, the remaining pets’ roles may be ill-defined and cause behavioral changes. The submissive pet may not have anyone to follow, or the leading pet may not have someone to lead. Your pet may not know how to act any longer.
- Their social interaction may decrease. You may find that they are hiding more or separating themselves from the rest of the family.
- They may have a lack or increase in appetite.
- Some dogs may pace or even look like they are ‘searching’ for their lost loved one. Vocalizing excessively may occur in some dogs; urination and grooming habits may change in cats.
How you can help your grieving pet
Helping your pet adjust to the loss may have the added benefit of helping you cope as well.
1) Try not to ‘reward’ broody or sulky behavior and engage in different activities. This is a good way for your pet to learn their new position in the family and help them move on from their loss. Over time, you may find that your pet will look to you for leadership or their personality may become more confident.
2) Dogs keep learning throughout their whole lives, so a training class or a private lesson can help you both learn some new skills. This can help your grieving dog be more confident and sure of themself.
3) Increase your pet’s activities. Whether it be a little extra brushing, a new toy, longer play sessions or more quality time with you. Doing the things that they love to do can really benefit them and help them adjust to life without their companion. It may help you feel better as well.
4) Provide more exercise and stimulation. The pet that passed away very likely played a large part in the day-to-day life of your remaining pet. They may have played together, fought with each other, ate with each other, or napped together. Now that they aren’t around it may leave the remaining pet feeling anxious or bored.
5) Try adding an extra walk in the day for dogs or providing more interesting toys for either cats or dogs to play.
Should you get another pet to fill the void?
There is no right or wrong answer to this question, but we advise that you don’t make any rash decisions. There will be many factors to consider, like is it the right time in terms of grief. You may also want to consider the amount of free time you may now have or your finances. If all these aren’t in order, then it might not be the best decision to get another pet. Dogs can go without another companion for a while, and some dogs may even flourish. The same goes for cats; they are very independent, and after being on their own for a period of time, they may find it quite difficult to re-adjust.
If you feel like your dog needs another canine companion, but you’re not ready for another dog, then plan dog play dates with friends who also have dogs. Training classes and dog parks are a great ways to get them out and socialize.
If you do decide that getting another pet is for you, then get your existing pet to help with the selection. Some shelters will allow you to bring your pet to meet their prospective new companion. Allowing them to meet first gives a higher chance that you’ll find the most compatible pet.
A lot of the time, pets just need some time to deal with their loss, much like humans. This will give you, your family, and your other pet time to grieve and rediscover their place and, eventually, open your hearts to love again.
Did you enjoy this post? Have you had this experience? Did your pets grieve too? You can learn more about CPC Cares by visiting their website here.
Comment and share your thoughts below.
44 Comments
Lola The Rescued Cat
I believe pets grieve the loss of their friends amd their people. This is a great guest post with good advice for people expoeriencing this.
Melinda
Oh, I’m so glad that I don’t have two pets right now. I have a dog that has cancer. It is going to be enough grief when he passes for myself.
Lydia Samson
We have lost a dog before, our remaining dog would search for him everyday when we came home, and she seemed sad, just as if she was grieving too.
Lori Hilliard
Years ago, I had a 14 year old black lab, and my dog Soldier, who was just five years old. When Sally, the lab, died suddenly, Soldier grieved horribly. He would wander all through our house looking for Sally, checking Sally’s crate and whining and crying at night. For two weeks, Soldier didn’t eat. I was terrified, but the vet assured us that he would eat when he was ready (which he did at the end of the two weeks). Soldier calmed himself by sleeping with Sally’s favorite toy and carrying it around for months. I never washed it, because I knew that Sally’s scent was why Soldier carried it around. By the time the toy fell apart, Soldier was back to his normal, happy self. It takes time.
Sonja of Montecristo Travels
They do for SURE!!! I have seen it myself. Years ago when I had cats. They spent days … no weeks … looking for the one that had gone. It made my heart break double. I often think we might get Montecristo a little sister and then I wonder … what happens when he goes? Is it fair to her? Such beautiful souls.
Hindy Pearson
An excellent post, and absolutely so important for every pet parent to read. For many years I had a group of 5 cats, and when my oldest Calypso died I could see the group was a bit lost. She had a challenging personality to say the least, and she wasn’t exactly friends with anyone but she was the boss and her absence confused everyone. I don’t they exactly grieved they just didn’t know what to do and it took them some time to re-group.
Heather Wallace, Bridle & Bone
I absolutely have seen animals grieve, and it is so hard to watch. I love the advice of increasing activities and keeping them busy. And it is so important to acknowledge their feelings as well.
Dear Mishu
I believe they do… Pets are very emotional and feel any kind of loss and absence. This is great advice for humans!
Joely Smith
I am sure that they do. I have experienced this several times in the past two years. I have seen an otherwise perfectly healthy pet pass shortly after her best friend died. Yet, at the same time I have seen miraculous things happen as well. Such as a pet taking on the personality and habits of their pet companion after he passed!
Kamira Gayle
Thanks for the kind words!
Kamira Gayle
Melinda,
Oh I’m so sorry to hear he’s sick. Another contributor wrote a piece you may want to check out called Caring for Pets with Cancer https://impurrfectlife.com/tips-caring-pets-cancer/ Hope it helps. Sending healing vibes to you and your dog.
Kamira Gayle
Lydia,
Oh so sad. I’m sorry for your loss too.
Kamira Gayle
Lori,
Thanks for sharing your story. You have perfectly articulated one way in which animals grieve and learn to cope. Thanks for sharing your testimony and again I’m sorry about Sally.
Kamira Gayle
Sonja,
I totally understand your dilemma. It’s a double edge sword…you get one too soon, it could be a disaster or if you get one down the road eventually one will be left behind. It’s difficult but like you said in the end, animals have beautiful souls. Thanks for sharing.
Kamira Gayle
Hindy,
It sounds like Calypso was the head or leader of the group hence the others were a bit confused how to cope for a while. Thanks for sharing your personal story too.
Kamira Gayle
Heather,
It’s so true. I know from experience when Dusty lost her big sister Precious years ago, my sister and I made a conscious effort to keep an eye on her and engage with her more than usual. Extra hugs, snuggles and playtime did help her adjust for sure.
Kamira Gayle
Mishu,
Glad you enjoyed this great guest post!
Kamira Gayle
Joely,
It’s rare but you are right about that…one pet passing and then the other soon after. I’ve only heard once or twice but believe it. Just like some soul mates (humans) ; you hear the same phenomenon. Interesting to know some pets take on the traits of the previous pet. Thanks for sharing your story.
Ruth Epstein
Great post and I do believe they do as they also feel the sadness we are feeling. I have shared it with a friend of mine to read as she asked about the a couple of days ago
Debi @ RescueDogs101
We almost always have had two dogs at time, so have gone through the grieving process with our dogs several times. Each dog has grieved in their own way.
The Daily PIp
When our last cat passed away, our remaining cat definitely seemed to be sad for a few days. She even went inside the other cat’s carrier and napped.
This was a very interesting post and I also liked how it explained that all pets and pet families are different when it comes to getting another pet. We always have adopted another family pet after one passes away, but I absolutely understand that everyone is different and that is not right for everybody.
Michelle
I often wonder about this, I notice that our second rescue dog is very connected to our first dog, always looks for him when out on walks and he will ‘protect’ Sandy if another dog won’t leave her alone. Not aggressively but be gets in-between the dog and Sandy. Interesting to know the pointers to look out for people experiencing this.
Beth
I think many do. When my sister’s dog passed away, she was very concerned about how it would affect the other dogs. She let the other dogs inspect Lulu before burying her. I think it helped the other dogs understand, so they weren’t just wondering why Lulu was missing. I would imagine that animals grieve like humans, every one grieves a little differently.
Allison
Sometimes after a loss our pets have appreciated the lack of competition and the increased attention. However, when I had guinea pigs, they were become lethargic upon the loss of a companion. Also, after my husband and I lost our first cat, our dog started to snuggle more with both of us. He might have been offering me comfort or maybe he was missing her too. We now have three cats that have strongly bonded. I dread the time that we lose either of them, for my sake and theirs.
Sandy Kubillus
I’m going through with this right now. My cocker, Chipper passed away a month ago. I was worried that his sister would be upset since she has known him her whole life. I have the additional concern that stress could flare up her glaucoma and cause her lose her sight in her remaining eye. We are already on borrowed time according to her ophthalmologist. But Buffy seems fine except for asking for additional attention. When she does go blind, another dog may help guide her.
Paul Kirhagis
Such a good post on such a sensitive issue. I should leave the animals do you have the capacity to grieve the loss close companion. But Dogs especially, being domesticated by and evolving along side humans, have a biological… “Kinship“ for lack of a better word. This is been shown by research in the process of domestication by Russian scientist
arzoo
I absolutely agree with you they do. Anyways well-written blog shared
sara lafountain
I most definitely think that pet’s grieve. When my husband travels our dog mopes around all day. She just looks sad everyday until he comes back. I know if he were to not come back she would be sad forever!
Kamira Gayle
Ruth,
Well said. Thank you so much for sharing this post! I hope it helps your friend.
Kamira Gayle
Debi,
I’m sure it never gets easier either. (sigh)
Kamira Gayle
You make some very valid points. Well said.
Kamira Gayle
Michelle,
Glad you were able to take away a fresh perspective on the topic. Hope you found it helpful.
Kamira Gayle
Beth,
I think what your sister did was actually beneficial for the others understanding. I did the same with my youngest Dusty at the time. I brought her to the room where Precious passed away to let her know her sister was gone. She did understand. I definitely felt it helped her comprehend her passing. You are right though, everyone grieves differently. Thanks for sharing.
Kamira Gayle
Allison,
I totally understand what you mean. I have a similar experience with my two cats at the time. We gave extra attention and snuggles to help the remaining pet cope with the loss.
Kamira Gayle
Sandy,
I remember reading your post about Chipper. Sorry for your loss. His sister sounds like she is staying strong through everything. I’m sure the extra attention and snuggles will help her. I’m definitely a believer that the power of LOVE can supersede doctor’s expectations. Pray that she exceeds doctor’s expectations and you just continue to spoil her with love love love. It really helps them (and you). Sending you positive vibes! Thanks for sharing too.
Kamira Gayle
Thank you!
Kamira Gayle
Sara,
Aww. She’s a daddy’ s girl for sure. So sweet. They really have a special bond.
DSM Tool
I lost my pet to Mr. Death last year. I was broken inside. I was so depressed and I hate the feeling. I moved on though but I never got myself a new pet. I don’t want to feel the same kind of depression that I went through.
Kamira Gayle
I totally understand. I have a close friend that feels the same way you do. She never adopted after her last pet. Sorry for your loss. 🙁
Anonymous
Agreed
Linda
I had too beagles I adopted from a tech college program. Lilly had to be released from her pain in august of 2017 and petunia who had heart issues passed away in October of the same year, just about 6 weeks after lilly. I just had to release my black lab border collie mix on November 5 of this year. He was supposed to have dental work, but we found out that day he had cancer of the spleen and liver, I couldn’t let him suffer so I let him go to the rainbow bridge. It is so hard to think about,it is still so painful.
Kamira Gayle
Linda,
Oh I’m so sorry for your loss of Lilly, Petunia and your Black Lab mix. 🙁 I can’t imagine losing them so close together. You really are so strong. I understand your pain. It does lessen with time as you know but that heartache lives with us. I would have done the same thing in your shoes. You don’t want your fur baby to suffer. Sending you only positive vibes.
Melinda
I just lost my Ace 2 weeks ago…. i didn’t get to say goodbye… I come home from work and look for him…I stupidly call out his name hoping he will come around the corner and give me kisses…I’ll be sitting in my chair be expecting him to get his 75 lb body up on my lap …. but when I realize that this things are going to ever happen again I break down in tears. I can’t accept he is gone…he got out of the yard and was killed while I was at work. I never got to hold him and tell him he meant everything to me and that I love him so much. He died alone instead of in my arms loving him.
Admin
Melinda,
My heart goes out to you for the loss of your sweet Ace. I’m so sorry. Losing a furry family member suddenly is the worst for the reasons you expressed. I hope reading the content on this blog helps to give you validation for your feelings and helps you. Ace was so blessed to have you as a parent to love him so. Take it one day at a time and know that the love you have for Ace will carry you through this storm. Love never dies.