I hope what I am about to share brings some comfort to those who have experienced loss of their beloved fur baby. With time you will learn to cope with the pain and begin to heal your heart. You are not alone and many fellow pet parents understand your struggle. Take it one day at a time and always keep the fond memories you spent together with your fur baby locked up in your heart…
I am an avid pet lover and also a mom, or was a mom , to two wonderful cats. Precious and Dusty were their names. Precious lived to 8 years old and died 10 years ago in 2006. She suffered from a heart murmur and complications. However my baby girl Dusty died at the start of 2015 at the age of 13 years old after battling aggressive thyroid cancer and hyperthyroidism disease. She was the best cat I ever had. Her temperament was quite like that of a puppy. She was cool as a cucumber and at times very talkative and very smart. Dusty was so lovable and friendly and at the same time discreet and kept to herself when she wanted. She saw me through the best of times and my lowest moment-always right by my side.
This is the quintessential definition of unconditional love our pets give us. I am truly convinced they are God’s little fur angels with paws. They demonstrate the unconditional never-ending love until their last breath. It has been over a year and I still at times find myself tearing up. Even as I write this post I am teary eyed. In searching for ways to cope and deal with the hole left in my heart I discovered writings and poems online. Poems like Rainbow Bridge and also books like “All Animals Go to Heaven” by Sylvia Browne and “A Letter to my Cat” by Lisa Erspamer helped give me much comfort.
While reading these books I was presented with the idea of afterlife for pets. People transition to the other side so why not pets? Our beloved animals have the capacity to love, live and breathe so perhaps their soul lives on too. If energy is neither created nor destroyed then is it not feasible that our furry friends are not gone but just on the other side, always still with us, watching everything happen as we cope with their missing physical presence.
I will admit I didn’t know what to think when Dusty first died but I definitely could still feel her energy around me even after returning from the urgent care that evening. Seeing her kitty condo by the window sill and her toys around, I still felt her energy in our home. My husband and I were told to return to urgent care to pick up her ashes in 2 weeks which would happen to fall on the day of my birthday. In the time leading up to that day the strangest things seemed to happen. At work or on my commute I would feel a cool breeze on the back of my neck. Or I thought I’d hear Dusty meow in the house couple of days after we had to put her down. Was I hearing things? Or while checking my email I would come across an email with an attachment in my inbox and it would be old video clips I had recorded of Dusty while she was alive and healthy. I was not even searching for these things.
These were all odd occurrences but I later realized in retrospect nothing is coincidence and they were signs. Lastly, what gave me much comfort and validation was a dream my husband shared with me. He was restless one night and opened his eyes to see our sweet Dusty sitting on the end of the bed in perfect health looking on at us and healthy. He went to reach for her only to realize she was transparent. As he explained it, he felt she had come back to reassure us she was healthy now, at peace and came to say goodbye. In a moment she was gone again.
It was the very next day when I got the voicemail message from the Urgent Car Pet hospital to come pick up her ashes…that day fell one day earlier than I was told. One day before my birthday. In retrospect, I feel like the timing of when I received that phone call was almost as if even in death Dusty wanted to ensure my birthday was not more burdened by reminders of her passing. She didn’t want me to shed tears on that day.
Despite all the pain and sadness I felt and still feel, I was honored to be her cat mom. It’s funny because when I decided to raise these kittens, I didn’t expect anything in return. I just wanted to help rescue and save a life off the streets due to over population. I’ve always love cats since I was young. I never expected too much in return. To my surprise, I‘ve learned that they gave me so much and yet expected so little.
Being a mom to Precious and Dusty was truly a blessing. To have that experience to share the past 20 years was nothing short of some of the best times in my life. They have both traveled cross-country with me, been there at my lowest and highest times. I thank the good Lord for introducing these little blessings in my life. I’ve learned so much about compassion, patience, joy, pain, sacrifice, and agape love through these little fur angels. I carry them in my heart forever. Until the day I’ll see them again on the other side, remember mommy loves you!