I received a few comments from readers about sudden loss of their pets and it had me thinking about an experience I had in the past. You usually read about me talking about Dusty frequently, however this time I have to share a personal experience about Precious, my first cat. She was my first love. This is my experience dealing with sudden loss of my cat Precious. But first, let me give you some context.
Moving to the Big Apple
It was June 30, 2006 and I had just moved to NYC with my sister and two cats in tow. Precious was about 8 years old and Dusty about 5 years old. It had been a long day of traveling across country on a plane for 3000 miles. Our cats did pretty well. I think it was attributed to the sedatives the vet gave us to give them for the trip.
However, as day turned into evening after we landed, I could tell the sedative wore off as Dusty was back to her perky self. Precious not so much. She was not only cranky but groggy. At one point walked around like she was drunk. It had my sister and I worried a bit however since we were brand new to a big city we had to find a vet as soon as we got settled.
By morning Precious and Dusty seemed to have shrugged off what was left of the sedatives and seemed back to normal. We moved into our loft apartment on day one in July and ran to Target to get some cleaning essentials, sheets and pillows to start off our life in the Big City.
After returning to the apartment, cleaning and trying to get settled my sister called out. “Precious is coughing. Something’s wrong!”
Gone too soon
I rushed into my sister’s room where Precious was making a coughing sound but couldn’t stop. We were right by her side trying to assist her. Was she chocking on food? No. She wasn’t vomiting or passing a hairball. It was as if her lungs were filled with fluid or something. She was in my lap still coughing until she stopped. Just like that she took her last breath. The whole incident didn’t last very long. I feel like it was 10-15 minutes.
All the while my sister was on the phone trying to reach our old vet and our family to Google a veterinarian in Brooklyn. (We had no landline, cable or anything set up yet!)
I felt Precious take her last breath. We both were overcome with disbelief and shock. What the hell just happened?! I knew our vet said before we flew across country that Precious needs to see a vet when we get settled. She had a heart murmur since she was a kitten, but I no idea she had days or hours to live.
We never got an autopsy due to cost however my sister and I felt her heart murmur combined with the sedative and/or traveling may have been too much. Honestly, we never got an answer only a hunch.
How we Dealt with Sudden Pet Loss
I can’t imagine how pet parents that suffer from sudden pet loss deal when they never get to be present for their pet when they pass. (i.e.: car accident, etc.) But I do know what it’s like when you are present. I dealt with overwhelming feeling of shock. Then you have to come to a place of acceptance. Being present did help us deal with this reality. Also, we had to come to grips that we would never know 100% the cause of her sudden death, but only speculate. Lastly, we had to remember to be present and provide comfort and be there for Dusty.
We had Precious cremated and her remains are still with me to this day. I have her ashes in a red and gold velvet box. You can read more about this in my previous blog post called What do I do with my Pets’ Remains?
Not only did we lose Precious, Dusty lost her big sister. We went through a period of grieving and Dusty went through a period of grieving too. Dusty was normally very active and inquisitive and perky however, after Precious passed away, she wouldn’t go into the room where Precious passed away for several days after. She was less active and melancholy. We did our best to give her extra cuddles, extra treats and belly rubs to let her know she was loved and we were there for her.
Finding Healing
With time, Dusty eventually returned to her old self. This actually helped us in the healing process. Having Dusty’s energy and presence around helped keep our spirits up. Watching Dusty return to her old self had my sister and I reminiscing on good times and funny moments when Dusty and Precious would play around. (Honestly, Precious was the type to be more annoyed with Dusty’s perky energy. Precious’ attitude was more like Garfield the cartoon cat; loved to eat, sleep and lounge; not to be disturbed.)
After some time passed, we even attempted to get Dusty another sibling. Check out my other blog post called “What I learned when I got another pet too soon!”
This was my experience with sudden pet loss. With the support of family, coming to a place of acceptance, memorializing Precious and comforting our other cat, we were able to come to a place of healing.
Life throws you for a loop sometimes. Losing a pet is one of the hardest things you may ever experience but you make it through. Sometimes we are fortunate enough to know death is coming and other times we get surprised. Just know you aren’t alone. I’ve been there too. If you are looking for additional tips to moving forward after pet loss, check out the Pet Loss Support Page.
Have you experienced unexpected sudden pet loss? How did you deal? Comment and share below.
donna says
August 15, 2017 at 5:12 pmIm sorry for your loss. My cat Stephan died May 5th. He was 14 years old and had a heart murmur. He was fine all day. Then later in the day he got off the chair and laid on the floor let out a howl (which is a sound ill always remember) and died. I was a mess it wasnt expected and otherwise his health was good. I have his ashes and hope he will be waiting for me when i go to the otherside.
Rachel says
August 13, 2017 at 6:59 pmI am so sorry for the loss of your dear Precious. We lost one of our family dogs, Maui, suddenly a few years ago. She too had a heart murmur. My parents woke up and she had already passed. We believe she had a stroke overnight. It was an overwhelming feeling of loss. I don’t think anything in life can prepare us for those moments. However, I do believe these moments can serve as a reminder that the time we have with our pets is so special, so we should enjoy and cherish each moment. <3
Kamira Gayle says
August 14, 2017 at 2:41 pmThank you Rachel. Well said. I couldn’t agree more. So sorry about your family dog Maui as well.
Dolly the Doxie says
August 10, 2017 at 10:05 amI can’t imagine going through what you just did, but you were able to over come it. I know it doesn’t help either when you can only speculate what caused it. My cat Rhette came to me from Rhode Island after his mom passed suddenly. Her friends flew him to Chicago and I had to take him to the vet within a few days because of a runny nose, eyes and sneezing. So the trip did affect his lungs somehow. I doubt I would ever fly my pets but sometimes it can’t be avoided.
Kamira Gayle says
August 11, 2017 at 8:26 amBelieve it or not your comment helps brings me some validation that our hunch may have been correct. The airline travel and air pressurization and all that probably definitely impacted Precious. She already had a heart murmur. I’m glad that your kitty made it to the doctor and they were able to treat him. Good food for thought the next time I have to consider travel. Thanks for sharing your story.
Irene McHugh says
August 10, 2017 at 12:01 amI moved with two of my cats to new cities three times. After one of those cats died, the other catface and I moved another two times to new cities. I cannot even imagine how difficult it must have been to be brand new to a city as large as NYC and lose your Precious! I’m glad you had your sister and Dusty for support all around. Thank you for sharing such a personal story.
Kamira Gayle says
August 10, 2017 at 8:06 amIrene,
It was definitely surreal and overwhelming but we got through it. I’m still thankful for 8 wonderful years with Precious. You are quite the traveler too! 🙂 Thanks for the kind words.
Debbie says
August 9, 2017 at 6:33 pmI’m so sorry to hear about your loss. That must have been so hard, especially with being in a new city and not knowing where to take your baby for help. I know that would take me a long time to get over.
Kamira Gayle says
August 9, 2017 at 9:56 pmDebbie,
Yes it was awful. This happened before smartphones were so common. Remember flip phones? YEah…it was difficult. Although our first night in the Big City was awful I have the most wonderful memories and experiences. No regrets.
Allison says
August 9, 2017 at 6:31 pmI’m sorry for your loss of Precious. Yes, I have experienced sudden pet loss, far too often. During my childhood, we had a family dog die while I was at school and my dad was at work. I’ve also had pets die not on the same day but still much quicker than expected and for inexplicable reasons. One of my guinea pigs woke up one day to her back legs not moving, and lost her appetite, and we couldn’t help her. A cat of mine had an infection, it healed, but the symptoms returned. We were told she had a year but then we were fighting for her life. She only got two weeks. All of these losses led me down the road to animal welfare. We never forget but we find a way to honor.
Kamira Gayle says
August 9, 2017 at 9:53 pmAllison,
Sorry for your losses. Bless you for finding a way to turn your pain into purpose. Fantastic way to honor their memories.
Jana Rade says
August 9, 2017 at 6:27 pmLosing a pet is terrible any time in happens. Having gone through both scenarios, I gotta wonder which is worse – sudden loss or having to make the fateful decision after a prolonged illness. I think that sudden loss might be less painful after all, depending on the circumstances.
Kamira Gayle says
August 9, 2017 at 9:52 pmI know what you mean Jana…with sudden loss it’s usually not your choice whereas the latter, you have to live with knowing your choice resulting in your pets passing.
Lola The Rescued Cat says
August 9, 2017 at 6:13 pmI’m so sorry you had to experience Precious’s loss in that way. It’s never easy when a pet leaves us, but when it happens so suddenly it’s devastating. I hope you’ve found your healing.
Kamira Gayle says
August 9, 2017 at 9:51 pmThank you ! I think I am getting there. Better everyday.
Sweet Purrfections says
August 9, 2017 at 5:57 pmWow! How sad what happened to Precious.
I remember losing a dog suddenly when I was a teenager. One minute she was fine and the next, she was gone. I was devastated. It turns out she’d eaten a bloated frog we’d cleaned out from the chlorinated pool. It’s still hard to forgive myself for being the one to take the short cut cleaning the pool…
Kamira Gayle says
August 9, 2017 at 9:49 pmOh so sorry that happened. I hope you forgive yourself. Your dog wouldn’t want you to carry that guilt forever. I wrote a blog post about Letting Go of Guilt. Check it out in the search tab. Hugs.
Ruth Epstein says
August 9, 2017 at 5:23 pmLosing Baby, who was with me throughout my abusive relationship, who ran with me, and was only 6 when she passed, was the hardest day in my life. It was as if she knew I was safe and could leave me (she passed away from IMHA, one day healthy and the next day in a coma). I have a box with all her memories which is something I cling to, she was my rock, my hero, my everything and although I love Layla to death, there are days when I really miss Baby.
My friend said to me the day Baby died and this is what keeps me going : Baby came into your life when you both needed each other, she knows you are safe so it is time for her to leave you so that you can open your heart to a new rescue”
Kamira Gayle says
August 9, 2017 at 9:47 pmRuth,
So sorry for your loss of Baby. You know I think your friend my be onto something. I’ve heard something similar from pet medium Brett Atwater. Have you heard of her? She’s on You Tube. Interesting videos and perspective. She talks about that very thing. Essentially everyone and every pet that enters our life is for a reason ; a purpose to help us in our life journey. More than anything I’m sure Baby helped give you the love you needed and the strength and courage to escape . You made it. Perhaps that was Baby’s purpose…to help you save yourself. Wishing you peace.
Happy-Go-Doodle says
August 9, 2017 at 4:53 pmThanks for sharing such a personal and touching story. Yes, life does throw us for a loop sometimes, and having our friends, family, and four-legged family members surrounding us with love is a comfort. My heart goes out to you.
Kamira Gayle says
August 9, 2017 at 9:44 pmThank you!
The Dash Kitten Crew says
August 9, 2017 at 4:33 pmWe lost Dash in a dog attack. It’s amazing I don’t hate dogs, but I don’t. I had very little help over here, no-one takes pet death seriously. If it wasn’t for my partner, and my social media friends I would not have recovered and kept the blog doing. It still carries his name with pride – Dash Kitten.
Kamira Gayle says
August 9, 2017 at 9:43 pmRIP Dash. I’m so glad your online family is there for you to give you help and support. I hope my blog has helped you too. I remember the day I discovered your blog. Dusty was taking another road adventure. I was so happy to see another grey cat named Dusty…just like my Dusty. It warmed my heart to find your blog. I thank you. Dash would be proud!
Nichole says
August 9, 2017 at 2:53 pmMy heart breaks reading this. I am so sorry for the way you lost Precious. We lost our Lola shortly after an osteosarcoma diagnosis, which came on all of a sudden, out of the blue… it was an awful time. But I have never experienced loss as sudden as you.
Kamira Gayle says
August 9, 2017 at 9:59 pmSorry about Lola too. RIP. Although my experience was so quick, I know you can relate the pain is the same. We are fortunate to be able to share our stories and dedicate our blogs to our furry friends.
Cathy Armato says
August 9, 2017 at 1:45 pmI went through a sudden loss with one of my cats, Mousey. He was so beautiful and had an incredible personality, I loved him to pieces. He also had a heart murmur, just like Precious. AND, he passed away when I moved as well. He died, apparently peacefully, in his sleep. I was shocked, horrified, and devastated when I found him in the morning. I couldn’t believe he was gone. My other cat Maggie had trouble dealing with his loss too, they were so close. It’s really hard when you don’t know exactly what happened to cause such a sudden death. I always wonder if I wasn’t paying enough attention and missed something. Such a heartbreak. Thanks for sharing your painful experience.
Love & Biscuits,
Dogs Luv Us and We Luv Them
Kamira Gayle says
August 9, 2017 at 9:40 pmWow Cathy,
My condolences to you for Mousey. What a cute name. Yes I wonder if heart murmur are like silent killers or something. We have similar experiences in the sudden loss of it all. I really feel for you. Can’t imagine waking up expecting to give breakfast and find…. I guess Mousey passed peacefully. I think that would be a small piece to give me peace-no long suffering. Again sorry for your loss.
Heather Wallace says
August 9, 2017 at 10:06 amReliving this memory must have been really hard. It sounds like she had a bad reaction to the sedative. Poor Precious. So fortunate that she was in your arms and was comforted by you.
Kamira Gayle says
August 9, 2017 at 9:36 pmHeather,
With sharing it gets easier to talk about and time does help some. My sister believes the same about the interaction with the sedative too. We were both glad we were at least with her, even though it was so awful. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Kristen @ My 3 Little Kittens says
August 9, 2017 at 10:01 amI broke down reading this. I can’t even tell you how sorry I am and I know exactly how much this breaks your heart. Grief never goes away, we just learn to tolerate it. I came home from a visit away and my Sebastian was struggling. My husband rushed him to the vet who said pneumonia and he had to stay overnight. The next morning they called saying he had something in his throat and they needed to perform surgery now. He died on the table from cardiac arrest. I wasn’t there obviously. I loved him more than I can even express and I still suffer with the pain of this. I am so thankful you were with Precious when she passed….
Kamira Gayle says
August 9, 2017 at 9:35 pmOh Kristen, so sorry for your loss this way. I can’t imagine how you must have felt. So tough not having some sense of closure. 🙁 I feel for you.
Luna | Mother of Rescues says
August 9, 2017 at 9:46 amThis story had me in tears. I love how you ended the blog post with a healing message, so powerful. <3 We lost one of our dogs in February and it was devastating. While it was sudden, we still had the time to say goodbye (a matter of days) and after reading your post I now appreciate that time even more, however short. Loss is always so painful and healing is hard, but just as you pointed out, it's all about who you surrounded yourself with and how you remember the pet that has crossed the rainbow. <3
Kamira Gayle says
August 9, 2017 at 9:33 pmSo sorry for your loss too Luna. Thank you for the kind words. Glad it touched your heart.
Kelly says
August 9, 2017 at 8:53 amLoosing a pet is heart wrenching at any time. But as a pet ages or is ill and we know that their time is coming helps prepare us (as best as can be), however the lose of a pet this way would have me questioning so many things as to the whys. So sorry you had to go through this.
Kamira Gayle says
August 9, 2017 at 9:31 pmSo true. Thank you Kelly. I’m just grateful I was present with Precious in her last moments.