person holding ginger kitten
Fostering,  Pets

My foster success & 7 lessons learned along the way

If you have followed my blog for the past few months, you know I finally decided to try my hand at fostering. I’m not quite at the stage where I am ready to adopt my own cat yet since the loss of my sweet Dusty, however, I know my heart is healing with time.

Speaking of healing, one instrumental part of fostering that I DID expect was bonding with my foster. Remember when I told you about my first foster buddy, Spuds? And then we met Stubby? Well, I have some great news to share since the last time I updated you on my fostering adventures. After a few months of fostering, we have had foster success! Not only was one of my fosters adopted, I’ll share seven lessons I’ve learned along the way.

Stubby, the shy charmer.

The last time I updated you on Stubby, I mentioned his past about coming from a hoarding situation and he was very skittish but gaining confidence daily. True to form, he continued to gain confidence daily and then craved his freedom by wandering out and about from his crate. He eventually never returned to his crate and found solace by the window sill or on our couch.

As he grew more confident, he ventured into unchartered waters…the bedroom. Once declared “off-limits” by my husband, Stubby’s charm worked his magic, and my husband caved in. Stubby was able to jump on the bed and rest and chill.

As 2 ½ months passed and Stubby’s confidence grew we could clearly see more of what we loved about him in the first place. He’s a chill cat who likes his yarn and bottle caps too! Stubby is not a swatter or a biter, he’s mellow and a cool cat. He’s chunky and adorable, with big eyes that can surely melt your heart.

Tugging on the heartstrings.

He began to give light kisses and slow eye blinks and allowed us to give head scratches, to his delight. Stubby also showed his affection with gentle rubs against our legs while sitting or just sitting near us while watching TV. He still had to adjust to the idea of sudden movements, but with time I know he will adjust.

I think if more time had passed with him at home, I would have succumbed and kept him myself. I discovered that Stubby reminded me of the best traits of my last two cats, Precious and Dusty. Stubby had big round eyes and a calm demeanor like my sweet Dusty and the tabby pattern and build like my first love Precious. It was such a pleasure having him home with us.

Then a holiday event notice!

And then, just as Stubby’s getting nice and settled in, we are reminded why we do what we do in the first place…adoption is the goal. This past weekend Best Friends organization in partnership with several other animal rescues, had their annual Super Pet Holiday Adoption event Dec 8th-9th. Spuds and Stubby were slated to be in attendance, so I had to say goodbye to my boy last week. It was bittersweet but ended on a good note.

Good news…Stubby’s been adopted!

After I dropped Stubby off at the animal rescue mid-week in preparation for the weekend adoption event, I returned home and immediately missed his chunky face and paws in the house.

With Stubby gone and an impending adoption mega event happening, I just hoped for the best and posted about this event in hopes someone would be interested.

Saturday came, and the weekend was just getting started when I got an alert on my phone.

“Hi, Kamira. I just want you to know…Stubby’s been adopted!”

Yes! Just in time for the holidays, Stubby had found his forever home with a lady from the Big Apple. He is a foster success story now.

Mixed emotions

I was so overjoyed and yet saddened at the same time. I’m happy for Stubby but sad to see his sweet face go. I know it’s for the best, and that’s the point of fostering…to save lives!

7 Life lessons learned after almost 3 months of fostering

So here is where my life lessons come into play. I’ve only been a foster mom for a short time, yet, I’ve learned so much. Here are just a few lessons I’ve learned from fostering my two boys, Spuds and Stubby.

1) Sometimes, fostering doesn’t go as planned, and you have to return your foster buddy.

Remember when I wrote my post, “What happened to Spuds?” I’ve learned that sometimes stuff happens beyond your control and may involve getting medical attention.  Spuds was not a foster success, and that’s okay.

If you have to return your foster pet, it’s not a failure, it’s just a different journey to adoption with a pit stop along the way. Resolving any issues and needs of your foster pet takes priority.

Having a healthy and socially adjusted pet is in the best interest of all involved.

2) Have zero expectations

Meeting Stubby was great but bringing him home, we made our mistakes in making assumptions. Lesson learned, don’t make assumptions, and take proper precautions (especially with valuables or home decor you treasure). It’s best to keep out of sight if possible to avoid getting ruined.

Luckily for us, any issues with urinating or marking the house were cleared up with vinegar and detergent.

3) Bond beware

Of course, this is why many fosters fail! A bond is formed! If you are thinking of fostering, just come to grips with the fact that there is a high probability that a strong bond will form with your foster buddy.

Now with that in mind, will you have the ability to let go when the time comes? In my case, I was successful however, if the adoption event happened next year, I’m not so sure my foster success would have happened.

4) Patience is a virtue!

Patience is a must. Also having empathy and the ability to put yourself in the shoes of your foster helps. Think about where they are coming from.

Also, keep in mind how you would react to some of the situations they are dealing with. (ie: Locked in a cage for all their life, no freedom, anxious, scared).

Having empathy and patience while training your fosters to become more socialized is key.

5) Foster pets are resilient.

One thing I know to be true since fostering is seeing my foster cats’ strength and courage develop. They both were so scared and introverted at first when I brought them home.

With patience, time, and encouragement, their personalities blossomed. Their confidence increased and they began to come into their own. Their display of resilience despite their past was truly inspiring.

We as humans can take a note. Don’t allow your past to define who you want to become in the future.

6) Fostering keeps you active and happy.

As you know, my cat Dusty passed away in 2015, and although I haven’t adopted my own cat again yet, I knew that being around animals and helping them is part of my purpose. I wrote about my thoughts on why I think fostering a pet is a good idea in a prior blog post.

Well, it took a long time until the timing was right, but I stayed true to my word and took action to get involved by volunteering with People for Animals and fostering. It has been the best decision ever!

Fostering cats helped me lift my mood. It made my house feel like a home again. I get a chance to save lives and feed my soul with purpose at the same time. There is no amount of money that can make you feel fulfilled when you are fulfilling your passions. “Can I get an Amen?!”

I also realized that fostering reintroduced me to the idea of having a morning and evening routine. I had to get my rear in gear and be sure to get fresh water, litter, and food ready to go. It also helped me get more active around the house with cleaning and also getting involved with playtime.

Lastly, playing with my foster buddies sparked my creative side by making play toys they could use daily for exercise.

7) Fostering saves lives

Last but not least, the point of it all is that fostering helps to save lives. For every animal you can foster at home, there is one more space available in a shelter to keep other animals from being euthanized.

Fostering, spaying, and neutering your pets help the overpopulation issue in our nation and worldwide. I chose to foster to get involved in the community, help find healing after pet loss, and show love and compassion to another being.

Helping Stubby find his forever home and having a foster success just filled my heart with joy.

My first time foster success and 7 lessons learned along the way!

What can you do to help?

What about you? Not interested in fostering but still want to help? You can donate items from your house or volunteer your time to help!

Nonprofit organizations, like People for Animals and many other shelters, often need things like cleaning supplies, old towels, blankets, and other office supplies to help keep costs down and things running. Donations are always welcome too.

Another great resource to try to find volunteer opportunities is Volunteer Match.  They have both physical and virtual opportunities to work from home.

So that’s what I’ve learned so far after almost three months of fostering. I’ve learned a lot and still expect to keep learning. Will I foster again now that Stubby is gone? Hell yeah!

Thanks for taking this journey with me and learning about the world of fostering and all its ups and downs. I’m thoroughly enjoying it.

I’ll be sure to keep you updated on who will be my next foster buddy in a future blog post. Is another foster success story in the cards? I hope so.

Share your thoughts

Let me know about your foster success experience. What would you say is the greatest lesson you’ve learned while fostering? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

29 Comments

  • Delores Overby

    AW!! Stubby gone? I’m sure that was bittersweet for you and your husband. So Stubby have a new home in the big Apple. Hope he does well in his new home for the holidays.
    Great job Kamira.

    Dee Dee

    • Kamira

      Yes he’s gone but his wish came true to find a forever home. I’ll miss him. He’s a gem. Thank you. I’ll be sure to share my future fostering adventures.

  • Allison

    After a few foster fails, my husband and I didn’t think fostering was for us. Then this fall, we fostered and found a home for an an abandoned kitten. This foster success led us to apply to foster for our local no-kill shelter. Over the summer, we fostered several more kittens. Every time we fell in love, but were able to let go because of already having three cats and a dog. It also helped that we’ve received updates.

  • Ruth Epstein

    I am so happy Stubby found a new home for the holidays, just love it. I unfortunately in my apartment cannot foster as I am allowed only one pet but on the other hand am relieved as I am sure I would be a big big failure.

    I cleared out my closet recently of old towels etc and donated all the Northern California victims (pets) including toys, treats etc so at this moment we are empty of all but it is a great feeling also.

  • Susan

    What a great story with a happy ending! So glad you had a good experience with fostering and bless you for doing it – there are so many homeless animals who need our help. I’ve thought about fostering, but I know I’d be a failure (with a house full of ‘fostered’ pets, LOL), so instead, I volunteer at a local shelter and walk dogs and play with the cats – that way I don’t get too attached 🙂

  • Holly

    Happy tails to Stubby and his new mom. And well done to you – I couldn’t do it, it killed me to let one of my kittens go just to my daughter where I see her every week.

  • The Dash Kitten Crew

    Cats are more resilient than we give them credit for. Our Harvey is a case in point. Patient, courageous and enduring then he found us.

    You are SO RIGHT about patience. Dusty our very late adopted senior took six months to meow and then HE YELLED REALLY LOUD. It is a happy story we recall even today. From then on every trip to the kitchen was Dusty’s feeding time 🙂 Slow and steady, patient care. Accepting your foster and building their confidence.

    Well done you. Your work paid off. You must be proud of the boy.

    • Kamira Gayle

      Yes!! I know exactly what you mean with your experience with your beloved Dusty. Stubby was almost a mute, but by the time he left in his carrier he was being HEARD! LOL So glad for him he got his happy ending. I’m proud of my boy and a happy foster mom. Thanks.

  • Beth

    I’m so happy for Stubby! I am excited to “meet” your next foster when the time is right. I haven’t fostered yet, but hope to one day. I know that it makes such a big difference.

  • Jana Rade

    Congratulations to Stubby on the new home and to you on the foster success. I wonder what happens when I’m able to start fostering – how many fails there will be.

    • Kamira Gayle

      Jana! LOL My husband and I had the same concern but my desire to help outweighed the fear of failing. Really and truly if I’m a fail then the foster was meant to have a forever home with me! At least that’s how I rationalize it. This time everything worked out as planned.

  • Dorothy "FiveSibesMom"

    Such an great and inspiring post! I think fostering is so wonderful and truly helps pets in need. And just how great is the news that Stubby was adopted?! The very best! I know it must be mixed emotions, but your fostering gave Stubby the chance to become adopted and have a forever family of his own. And that is as wonderful as it gets!