After suffering the loss of a pet and coming to terms with it, other questions are raised, like “Now what do I do with their stuff?” Experiencing loss and dealing with the stages of grief is hard enough, let alone dealing with the task of clearing out their toys, bedding, and belongings. It is a constant reminder of life before their transition. This can be especially difficult when the pet is the ONLY pet of the house. Either way, when the time is right for you, here are four ways to deal with your pet’s belongings after they are gone.
-
Keepsakes
After your pet has long departed, it is nice to keep fond memories of their lives and your experiences positive and in a good light. You may want to have a keepsake, or something to remember them by that is tangible. For instance, after my cat Dusty passed away, I kept her pink sparkle collar. It lies by my keychain bowl on a table with a framed picture of her. Some people like the idea of using a collar as a key chain holder or attachment.
Perhaps, you never had a collar for your pet and had a “chip” so you may want to hold onto their favorite toy or even keep a favorite photo and make a special frame for it. There are many options and creative ways you can keep a tangible memory of your pet’s life. I’d recommend limiting the items to one or just a few in sight.
I have found that doing this helps recovery from the loss become more manageable because there are no constant reminders all over the house. For me, seeing a lot of toys and things my cat played with triggered a lot of emotions for me. I did not want to wallow in sadness for longer than I felt comfortable for my own mental health. So I had to remove the majority of her belongings as a result. This leads me to the second option.
2. Donate
After a couple of months, I found that seeing my cat’s box of toys and unoccupied kitty condo daily was a constant reminder of her death. Sure I had good memories but seeing that empty space on top of the kitty condo in the corner of the house daily just felt like rubbing the salt in my wounded heart daily.
I came to a point of realizing that the best memories I have are in my memory and heart forever. I don’t need a daily reminder of her last days with the physical things in the house. It made me think of her daily routine, her comings, and goings and scratching on her scratchy pad every morning. Aside from the memories constantly flooding my brain, this stuff takes up space.
I had to come to accept at this stage, it was time to move forward and keep the greatest treasures of her memory in my heart and clear the physical space to allow room for new energy and new beginnings. My cat’s energy and spirit are always with us, just different now. With that in mind, I donated my kitty condo and toys to neighbors.
If you are uncomfortable with that, you can donate online or take them to your local no-kill shelter. Animal shelters love to get any extra supplies to help cats and dogs.
3. Recycle/Reuse
If you know you’ll get another pet one day in the near future, you may want to consider sanitizing the toys, litter pan and, wash the bedding and tuck away until you get a new family member. Or perhaps you have a house full of pet siblings, and they all share their toys; it may suit you to keep the toys and maybe hold onto their collar.
Additionally, sometimes money is a factor, and you may be of the mindset to keep the belongings, and you can reuse them one day in the future. Buying new stuff all over again can be costly, so reusing items saves you time and money in the long run.
4. Discard & Start Fresh
Lastly, if none of these options work for you, you can always discard your deceased pet’s belongings/toys and start fresh. Remember, discarding of your pet’s belongings does not discount or void the memories and love shared between you both. These things in the physical are just that T-H-I-N-G-S. They are symbols that help us recall precious memories and experiences.
So please don’t let anyone make you feel bad for the way in which you handle clearing out your pet’s belongings. It’s a personal choice. In my case, I kept a handful of things and donated some, and trashed the rest. I felt it was an important step to not keep clutter and hinder my healing process physically and mentally.
When you clean and reorganize your life you allow an opportunity for new blessings, renewed healing, and a clearer mind. It doesn’t make the pain less or make one forget the loss but it does help you move forward with a renewed attitude. You may find it necessary to discard their belongings if your pet was the only pet of the house and you are preparing to welcome a new pet.
Depending on the situation, it is not uncommon for pets to sometimes have a negative reaction to another pet’s scent they do not identify with or feel intimidated by. For this reason, it may be the best option to start fresh and buy new items for the home.
So, those are my four tips for dealing with your pet’s belongings after death. If you were wondering what do I do with my pet’s belongings now that they’re gone, I hope this blog post has given you a few helpful ideas. I hope this helps make life a little easier in this stage of the process. Choose what is right for you. Remember, possessions may go, but the love never dies.
What did you do with your deceased pet’s belongings? Comment and share your experiences below.
Pin Me!
Originally published August 6, 2016. Updated August 2021.
56 Comments
Nali
Thank you for the reminder 🙂
Kamira
Nali,
I know it’s not easy, but eventually has to be dealt with. Everything in your own time when you are ready. Hope the tips are useful and help.
Amy Shojai, CABC
We did a combination of all of this after Magic passed on. I washed and saved his “newest” toys for the future, and saved a couple of his favorite well-worn-loved toys as a tribute to him, but threw the rest away. I also kept his collar–his best friend Karma-Kat slept with his collar for 2 weeks after his passing. My Seren-Kitty had a beloved bed I washed and that a future kitty may use.
Kamira Gayle
Amy,
Nice. I kept collars for both my girls too.
Sonja of Montecristo Travels
We are minimalists so we don’t really keep things around anyway. AS soon as something is no longer used it’s out of the home. That leaves … very few things. I hate to think ahead … but I suspect we’d have all our photos … of course our blog with all our adventures … and I think wed keep Moby. He’s blue stuffed whale and forever companion. Everything else … would go.
Kamira Gayle
Sonja,
I like the idea of minimalism. Only the essentials. I must admit the one thing I have lots of Pictures! But as you mentioned, minimalism in mind I could try to scan my older pics to keep forever. 🙂 Aww Moby the whale!
Anonymous
This is a great article i’ve got loads of my late pet “Betty” pictures and was contemplating on what to do with them…your article was helpful thanks
Kamira Gayle
Glad you found it helpful! 🙂
Ayo
I was actually contemplating on what to do with my late pet things and I stumbled upon your lovely article ..It was helpful thanks
Kamira Gayle
Ayo,
You’re welcome. 🙂
Candy
Such a sad, but necessary, thing to think about. In the past, I have always donated to animal shelters. It makes me happy to think of my beloved pets items being reused by animals in need. A sort of pay it forward.
Kamira Gayle
Candy,
So true. Out of our pain, someone else can benefit.
Rachel
Not easy to think about, but yes, something that DOES need to be thought about. As an adult, I haven’t had to think about this yet, but when the day comes I’m sure I would do a mix of everything you’ve listed.
Kamira Gayle
Rachel,
True. At least you’ll have some option in mind when the time comes…long long long time from now.
Yasaar Nakchbendi
Thinking about when my cat is gone is something I do think about all the time. Great idea about recycling or giving to a shelter. There are small things that I would probably keep, such as a favorite toy or brush. Then again, we’re a multi-cat house so my other cats would put anything to good use.
Kamira Gayle
Yasaar,
Good point!
Ruth Epstein
It took me a couple of months after Baby passed as to what to do with her things. I donated 90 percent of them to a non profit organization to help other dogs and I have a cane box with some that I really wanted to just keep for memories. Layla inherited some of her toys. It is really hard to do but on the other hand am happy other dogs are enjoying them.
Kamira Gayle
Ruth,
I understand and good point! I’m glad Layla was able to inherit some of Baby’s things to enjoy. 🙂
Seville at Nerissa's Life
It has been a long time since my peeps have lived in a single cat household, so this issue hasn’t been an issue, really. But when Peep #1 was growin’ up, she had only the one cat. She doesn’t remember what happened to Puss-in-Boots’ things. That’s kinda sad, too, I think. PURRS.
Cheryl Gungor
I had personally made a lot of beds, a blanket, pillows and toys for my sweet Wilbur and there were some favorite stuffed animals. Everything was washed and lovingly put away. The many cans of cat food were donated to the shelter. When Bliss joyfully came into my life 10 months later, everything came out again along with lots of new toys for him so one of his beds is a toy box where he helps himself to whatever he wants to pull out and bat around when he’s not stalking me for our game of chase! He was a sudden arrival after many months of grieving so I am very glad I had everything on hand, clean and ready for this new special boy!
Kamira Gayle
Cheryl,
RIP Sweet Wilbur. Look how being unexpectedly prepared helped you in the next phase of your journey with Bliss. Everything worked out just the way as it was intended to be AND you helped needy hungry cats as well with the extra food in the process. So happy to hear you and BLiss (love that name) are bonding so well and he makes your heart smile once again. oxox
Anonymous
Thank you. He does indeed bring comfort and joy back into my life! They come along when it’s the right time
Jill
Love some of these ideas. I am old fashioned and have their ashes with me in beautiful wooden boxes in my office…..
Kamira Gayle
Jill,
Me too! I have both my girls cremated and kept their collars. 😉
Jana Rade
This is a very individual decision; sometimes it’s best to get rid of everything, sometimes it is best to keep stuff, and sometimes anywhere in between. With Jasmine, I kept a bunch of things, some of which Cookie inherited, some of which is “sacred,” and put away safely.
Kamira Gayle
Jana,
I know what you mean. I had to force myself to get rid of most of Dusty’s things after she passed otherwise I would be sad by constant memories of her final days all around me. Like you mentioned, keep the most sacred things and donate or dispose the rest.
Beth
After my dog died suddenly, I got another dog within the month. However, they were completely different sizes. I kept Keesha’s collar for many years, until one day, I looked at it and realized that I didn’t need it. So I washed it and donated it. Even though it was an inexpensive collar, I think someone else might have a need for it. Her favorite blanket was in good shape, and after a few years, I brought it down for Nelly and Sophie to use. I like to think that she wouldn’t mind at all and that she is glad that perhaps someone else got to use her collar.
My mom fostered another cat after her cat passed away, but now that her foster has a new home, she’s giving the items to a friend who has 6 six cats.
Kamira Gayle
Beth,
Giving and donating to other animals in need is never time wasted. I’m sure Keesha’s proud of her mom sharing and giving. I love the idea of passing down the “family” blanket too.
Joely Smith
We have had each of our pets cremated and on or by their cremation boxes we have one or two items of theirs. Such as a collar, favorite ball, paw print, chew toy, or stuffed toy.
We have reused some items eventually that could be washed and we have donated items as well.
It’s so hard to let things go but if another animal can benefit that is what matters most and to me feels like it honors their lives more.
I love your suggestions I never thought of using a collar as a keychain!
Great idea!
Sherri
Most of my former cat’s stuff is now being used by my new cats – especially the climbers. I have Kaitlynn’s ashes in an urn, a paw print from her and ashes in a locket. Yup, some think that’s weird.
Kamira Gayle
Sherri,
Some may think it’s weird but I don’t! 😉 A piece of them is always with you.
Amelia Johnson
Schatzi had a lot of new toys given to her but as she aged, she never really played with them. After she passed away and Gusto came into our lives, he made sure each toy was totally played with and played out. Schatzi would have been proud of his enthusiasm.
I am also using her show leads and collars and harnesses, again feeling that she would have wanted me to do so. She will continue to bless us as we build on her memories and keepsakes.
Kamira Gayle
Amelia,
Well said. Nothing to waste. Reusing helps keep the memory living on generation to generation. 🙂
Tenacious Little Terrier
I think it would be a combination for us. There’s a collar company that will turn their collars into a bracelet and I’d like to do that with Mr. N’s one day. Food/treats would be donated. I’d like to reuse his clothes and things.
Kamira Gayle
April,
That collar to bracelet idea is a good one. Nice idea. 😉
Lola The Rescued cat
I would probably do a combination of the above. I’d definitely want to keep some keepsakes, and I’d be very sad if I discarded everything without thinking. And I would definitely donate as well.
Kamira Gayle
That sounds like a plan. 😉
Lori
Since my boyfriend and I have other cats in our home, I can’t get rid of Sylvester’s toys ( that he hadn’t played with in years). But some things I have done as a keepsake are: I am working on a scrapbook of my beautiful boys life. I had him for 18 years and I have photos from kittenhood up until the day I had to put him to sleep. (Minus about four yrs of grad school because I can’t find a missing SD card…..) also, I got him cremated and the pet cremation place made a clay paw print of his paw ( at my request- it was offered as a service). I also have two framed pictures of him. One I have had for about 9 or 10 years and the other one is a sadder one I got from co workers when I had to put him to sleep ( that one is my out of site one- it makes me cry to look at it). (The saying on the frame is beautiful “you were my favorite hello and my hardest goodbye”). I can’t look at it without crying- so in the basement it goes . It’s been three weeks next week and I miss him terribly still.
Kamira- your artwork is amazing! So beautiful and heartfelt.
Kamira Gayle
Lori,
Oh I feel for you so much. You know I do and understand. That was so thoughtful of the staff to offer a paw print as part of their services. Nice touch. I’m with you. It’s hard to look at photos from when I had to put Dusty out of her pain. This is why I definitely would say to any grieving pet parent cherish and talk about the good memories/photos when our furkids were healthy. It helps to keep our thoughts on their happy moments vs. their final moments. Thanks so much for sharing your personal experience and the kind words. xox
Martha Rutherford
My heart breaks for each and everyone. I had my baby boy from the time he was 8 weeks old, carry him home in my lap to his new home with me, was part golden rev. and husky. He turned 15 yrs and 16 days and died in my arms.I still have his toys and can’t part with them it really is the hardest thing to do.he’s will be gone 1 yr in Oct. He will always be with me. Thanks to all of you for sharing your stories. Martha Rutherford
Admin
Martha,
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby boy. And thank YOU for taking a moment to share your own story too. I hope you find the posts here give you some validation and comfort to your journey to find healing. It takes time. Some longer than others and it’s okay. I always say, the depth of grief often match the love we had for our beloved furbabies. Wishing you comfort and peace and YES. He’s always with you. Love never dies.
Sharon
I lost my rescue kitty, Tucker in March 2018. It took me about a week or two, to pick up the remnants of his food and water bowl (which i was adding some fresh water to) and to get rid of the litter (the poo and pee had already been thrown out) and wash the box and put it away.
I kept his doggy bed that he loved sleeping in and a box that he loved to lay in as well and scratch it to oblivion out until recently and felt it was finally time to put it away. It was hard as i wanted to keep the reminders of him.
Sharon
Kamira Gayle
Sharon,
First I’m so sorry for your loss of Tucker. I understand exactly what you mean. It took me a while to remove my pet’s things too for the same reason. I’m glad this post resonated with you and hope you find healing. Take it day by day.
Michael Seda
I have burned them together with my pet, i asked the pet cremation houston tx facility where i have availed the cremation process if i can include my dog’s belongings to be burned with him. They allow me then i put it around his body.
Kamira Gayle
Michael,
I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your pet but glad that the cremation center in Houston,TX was able to accommodate your requests. Being able to give support and honor your final wishes means a lot, especially while grieving. Thanks for sharing your input.
Amy
We euthanized our 18 year old cat on a Saturday afternoon. We have no children or any other pets, he was our child. The minute I got home I removed everything. I washed litter boxes, packed up his food, and removed all toys and wiped out cabinets and drawers where I held his things. He died on Saturday and Monday afternoon I took all his things to the vet and donated them. My husband kept the last furry mouse he played with.
The next few days at home were a flurry of activity. I had to keep busy. I vacuumed all his hair from the furniture and rugs. I tried to remove every trace of him as soon as possible. It was the only way I could move on. I vowed I would never have another pet because the pain of losing them is just too great. They dont live as long as we do and the guilt and pain was more than I could bear. Each thing I cleaned put me another step away from the pain. I went a little insane.
Admin
Amy,
First let me say I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your fur baby. What a blessing 18 wonderful years together. I totally understand about the pain and removing “reminders” in the house. Whatever steps you take to help yourself deal the best is what you need to do. It took me a bit longer but I understand what you mean. I hope the content on my blog helps you in the grieving process too. Again so sorry for your loss and take care of yourself and each other.
Erin
Thank you for your help. I had to say goodbye to my cat, Remy yesterday and I hate the idea of putting her toys away, her placemat and bowls, food, and even her litter box. It’s also hard seeing her placemat and bowl in her spot by us because I think of how she is not there. I feel guilty putting them away because I want her to know this is always her home. What will help me is when you wrote, “Possessions may go, but the love never dies.” I will keep this in mind during this process.
Ishtar
Hi Amy,
I was in the same situation you were in and had to let go of both of my boys within 2 weeks of each other after 18 years. I can only tell you this: I used to think I’d see them out of the corner of my eye only to realize that is was something I left on the floor, a shadow, a bag, etc… After over a year, I found myself in a position to adopt 2 new babies. As soon as I agreed to take them, this never happened again. And I felt so much better. I realized I was looking back in time and not forward. At first I wanted the new kitties as “replacements” but then figured out that they won’t be the same (How could they be?) and that is OK. Actually, it’s wonderful! These are 2 new kitties with different personalities, habits and behaviors. They will never “replace” the boys, they will be their own individual people and it will be a joy to be a good cat momma to them. I will add the memories I make from the new family to that of my old family. For me, I am honoring my old fellas for teaching me how much better life can be when you have a little buddy or two.
Ishtar
Oh, and what did I do with their things? I cleaned and sanitized the beds, grooming tools, toys, etc and took it, along with the remaining food and cat litter, to the Donation Locker at my veterinarians office. It made me feel a tiny bit better to realize these things were helping somewhere. I did this several days after they were gone. It was just too hard to see them. I kept each of their ashes and put them in their favorite places. One is on an end table near the sofa where we hung out and the other is is my closet where his favorite bed was located. It brings back fond memories when I see them.
Bonnie
I was cleaning today and saw the old cone collar my cat had to wear. It has been more than a year since my cat passed. She had to wear a fabric cone collar before she passed because of scratching herself due to flea allergy. I washed it, and it has old stains from drool due to tongue cancer. I have been trying to get myself to get rid of it. It reminds me of her suffering. I have not been able to throw it out, because it may still have her scent. I am unsure there is an afterlife, and her scent may be all I have left of her. I have always had cats and love them with all my heart. Due to disability I had more time with her and can say the grief hit me the hardest with her.
Admin
Bonnie,
I’m so sorry for your loss. I understand the pain of losing your fur baby to cancer. I kept my cat’s collar and it had her scent on it too, so I understand. It sounds like your cat that passed was your “heart cat” (soulmate). Honestly, some may have differing views on the topic but I think animals do have an afterlife. I know I’ve experienced some signs. Check out this post, it may resonate with you. https://impurrfectlife.com/4-reasons-believe-pets-afterlife/
I wish you continued healing and take it one day at a time. Thanks for sharing your story as I’m sure other bereaved pet parents can relate.
Jasmine Prevost
I lost my 13 yrs poodle suddenly last month he passed in my arms. Myself and other dog were deeply devastated. I think keeping everything as is hard for my dog but, we are not ready. Or I’m not either way he’s 2yrs. He a maltipoo separation anxiety is at a high, seems so unsure of his new role and sad still searching for him. He won’t eat unless I sit with. Any tips on this transition.
Admin
Jasmine, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your 13 year old poodle. I can relate. When my senior/elder cat died I comforted my younger cat by paying extra attention to her. It sounds like that’s what you are doing for your Maltipoo. It’s a matter of time as well. Here are two more resources that may help you and your Maltipoo as well. https://impurrfectlife.com/do-pets-grieve/ and https://impurrfectlife.com/10-pet-loss-support-hotlines-to-help-you-in-your-time-of-grief/ Wishing you the best moving forward. Take it one day at a time.
Jasmine
Thanks so much I appreciate it
Admin
You’re welcome Jasmine!