When you have experienced the loss of a loved one in your life, did you encounter surprises? I know I have!
It’s never easy losing a pet. Whether you have experienced anticipatory grief or suddenly lost a beloved pet, the reality of death shakes you to your core.
And although you know that Fluffy’s life expectancy is not 80 years old, the pain of losing them hurts just that same. No one can tell me otherwise.
You’ll have a roller coaster of emotions. From bouts of crying to fits of rage, the grief journey is precisely that – a journey. However, when your pet dies, in time you do find healing.
Afterward, you discover new lessons learned you did not see coming. I’ve been there.
6 Revelations you discover when your pet dies
1. You’re so much stronger than you think.
When you experience the loss of your best friend and companion, you think, “How will I go on? What do I do now?”
You’ll realize that you will survive despite the depth of the pain you are feeling. And you will become so much stronger than you thought you could be when your pet dies.
I compare it to a lump of coal under pressure. It’s only under extreme pressure that a diamond is formed.
The same applies to bereaved pet parents. You have no idea the scale of your strength and perseverance until you are faced with the situation directly.
2. Love is eternal.
Another revelation you’ll discover is the real meaning of love is truly eternal. Many of us may use the word “Love” lightly without much care.
It’s not until you lose your heart pet that you understand the depth of unconditional love your pet provided you your entire life.
After death, you appreciate and have much gratitude for the endless love and care your pet showed you, as you no longer have that physical presence there.
The irony is that you also discover that love transcends the physical. Love is very much eternal.
Do you feel that cool breeze on your neck?
Did you see a fluffy tail in the corner of your eye?
Just as humans transition and experience life after the physical one here, I believe our pets have an afterlife.
They, too, have a soul and know about love. They are the quintessential definition of what it is to love to a fault. And true love is eternal.
Sometimes I think the extended physical heartache we feel as pet parents are reflective of the love felt forever. Where there is great love, there is a great loss and great pain.
A mother can intuitively feel the presence of her child without seeing them, and in the same manner, we as pet parents sense the presence of our pets when they are near.
It’s just a new revelation we discover that our love does not end in this plane but transcends the physical space.
3. You’ll discover who your true friends are.
Fortunately or unfortunately, when your pet dies, you’ll soon be able to identify your true friends.
While times are great and things are going well, you’ve probably had many “friends” around. However, when you truly need support, especially after the death of a pet, you’ll discover the people you expected to be there may not.
Many pet owners who have lost a beloved pet have grown to understand not everyone views pets as family. They may even say something inconsiderate or rude, thinking it’s providing you solace. Ironically, their words may make you feel even worst.
I talked about this in a video 5 things you should never say to a grieving pet parent here.
Those that are your true friends will give you support by being present and listening.
Your friends and peers may or may not understand what you are going through; however, they will make a real effort to show you respect and grace by offering encouraging words of support.
They will demonstrate their uplifting support by speaking in a manner that honors your deceased pet instead of diminishing their value in your life lived together.
4. The best time to express your feelings is now.
One of the most important lessons you can learn when your pet dies is learning to release your emotions.
Whether that means talking out your feelings with friends or a therapist or trying journaling, you’ll discover practicing different methods of expressing your emotions is vital to your path to healing.
This grief journey takes time, and every day does not look the same. You’ll have days or weeks without tears, and on other days your eyes will behave like a water faucet.
Understand it is normal to have a wave of emotions. Taking active steps to express yourself and release your feelings is emotionally and physically healthy.
5. You realize how greatly pets enriched your life for the better.
Another revelation discovered after pet loss is understanding the full scale of how your pet impacted your life and daily existence.
While my cats lived, they brought out the best in me. (Actually, they still bring out the best in me today!)
They taught me about patience, adapting to change, and taking the time to smell the roses. They taught me to embrace my nurturing side, explore my passions, and appreciate the simple things in life. My cats showed me it’s okay to be silly and not take yourself so seriously. Life is to be relished and enjoyed.
My girls put a smile on my face every day.
When Dusty and Precious passed away, I realized just how much caring for them was ingrained in my daily routine.
Some people think cats are low maintenance, and you just feed them, change the litter and play for 10 minutes a day. Oh no! Wrong!
After losing a pet, you are reminded that the morning greetings with Fluffy hopping on the bed and purring in your face won’t happen again.
Or the scratching at the door at the crack of dawn no longer happens because they have passed on.
There is no more Netflix, and chill with Fluffy under the nook of your arm or in your lap as you watch your favorite series.
The big wedding milestone in your life you shared with Fluffy as your ring bearer walking down the idle is a distant memory now.
Those memorable noisy road trips to the vet are a thing of the past.
The clack clack clack of their little paws on the floor running to greet you as you come home from work is now replaced with an eerie silence.
Do you see what I mean now?
It’s only after losing a pet we see and feel the depth of how much our pets’ lives were intertwined with ours. But now we somehow have to create a new routine and life without them.
At the end of the day, you understand pets are our family. And just like a human family, they mean the world to us, then, now, and always.
6. Life goes on.
As much as we don’t like to hear these words immediately after losing a pet, life doesn’t stop moving.
And yes, life does go on.
When enough time has passed on, and you’ve reached a point where your heart is healed, you pick yourself up off the floor and take steps to reclaim your life again.
You may try volunteering, fostering, or even a different hobby.
Losing a pet forces us to look at life as a gift. Life does carry on, and our beloved pets would also want that for us.
As short as their lives are, they live them to the fullest, and honestly, we should take note and emulate them.
To Conclude
When your pet dies, it is devastating. You’ll discover revelations and lessons you didn’t consider before.
Take the time you need to heal from your loss. There is no timetable.
You’ll find that not everyone or everything turns out the way you may hope on your grief journey but use the experience as a lesson to grow and persevere.
Let the love you shared with your beloved pet inspire you to live life to the fullest every day. Learning to navigate through this storm in life and persevere is one of the best gifts you can do for yourself and honor the memory of your pet.
Share your Thoughts
If you have experienced pet loss, what new revelations did you discover? Did your friends surprise you in any way when your pet died? What was the greatest lesson learned in your grief journey?
Leave a comment below.
18 Comments
jana rade
I absolutely agree that love is eternal. My heart dog’s heart and mine are still connected.
Admin
🙂
Ruth Epstein
I so agree with you on all, I miss Baby to this day, cry on her gotcha day but I also know she taught me so much, helped me so much, and I am who I am today because of her, I was so blessed to have had her in my life.
Admin
Ruth,
<> Well said. They definitely teach us so much and leave an imprint on our hearts.
Michelle & The Paw Pack!
Our pets really do teach us so much, not the least of which being how to say goodbye. Remembering the things they have taught us is a great way to honor their memory, and to keep them alive, in a way, even when they are no longer physically with us.
Admin
Michelle,
Perfectly said. I couldn’t say it any better!
Terri
I couldn’t agree more. We never forget or stop loving the pets we’ve lost. Each one leaves the heart a bit cracked. You’re right that you do discover your friends during your most difficult times. Excellent observations!
Admin
Terri,
Thank you and I appreciate your insight!
Robin
I did learn a lot about who my friends are. My mother-in-law dealt me some hard blows while trying to help me through Cinco’s passing. She was more concerned about how much it all cost than how I felt or what would help me grieve. I found that my blogging friends were so much closer with me than I thought. They were really there when I needed them.
Admin
Robin,
I’m so sorry you had that experience with your mother-in-law. I feel for you! It’s really unfortunate and unpleasant. However, I’m glad you found the support and love you needed in your blogging friends. It’s so important to be surrounded by like-minded compassionate people.<>
Beth
As a person who has had multiple pets all of her life, I’ve also experienced many losses.
However, I’ve been lucky that my family and friends understand how much my pets mean to me. My sisters, mom, and I still miss and love the little Yorkie we had when I was a kid, even though it has been over 30 years since she passed.
Admin
Beth,
I’m happy to hear you have the loving support and care from family and friends. It’s really a blessing! And I understand. No matter how many years pass, our pets leave an indelible imprint on our hearts forever. <> Thanks for sharing your insight!
Dorothy "FiveSibesMom"
Kamira, once again your words fill our grieving pet parent hearts. Four months in on the loss of my last Husky, Wolfie, and still going through all these stages. First beautiful spring day out on the deck, and it felt…odd. Strange. Empty. He was always with me and loved to hang out on the deck with me. I know I will adjust, but right now it’s still raw. I just shared your post on my FiveSibes Facebook page as so many of my friends are going through a pet loss right now. Thank you once again for your helpful words. xo
Admin
Hi Dorothy,
I understand exactly what you mean. Wolfie (and all your Huskies) were ingrained in your heart and your daily routine so it’s so hard to figure out a new “normal”. Take it one day at a time. Sending you hugs and thanks so much for sharing my content with other pet parents. I really hope it helps to comfort those in need. I send you a message too! xoxo
Phyllis
I lost my girl ( a Siberian husky) back in October my heart broke. She imprinted herself onto my heart and into my life. I still have her mate, who still grieves for her, along with me. My dogs are a huge part of my life and always will be, they are family, they brighten my day even if I can’t see them. It was lovely reading this piece as not everyone understands.
Admin
Phyllis,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your girl. I understand. It brings some relief having your other dogs with you to grieve together. They understand it too! Thank you for taking the time to read my content. I hope it helps to comfort you in your time of grief and bring validation for your feelings. Sending you only positive vibes. Thanks so much for sharing your insight.
Cathy Armato
You are spot on with all of these points Kamira, beautifully said. Losing my little girl Phoebe has had effects that are so far reaching – my life really has changed forever. I’m grateful that I still have Icy, if I didn’t I don’t think I’d get through the day. I am trying to bring my strength but it’s a daily struggle.
Admin
Cathy,
Sending hugs! I know what you mean. Having Dusty with me after the loss of my first cat was difficult but manageable as we could grieve and support each other together. I’d imagine the same with you and Icy too! They help so much in the healing and support while grieving process. They are family!